Letter to Teachers: Middle Schooler with ADHD

Dear Teachers,

ADHD is rough.  It can be cool...but right now, in middle school, it's rough. Every day feels like a marathon, with hurdles I can't always see coming. It's not that I don't want to succeed or participate in class; it's just that sometimes, my brain feels like it's wired differently. Focusing on tasks feels like trying to catch fireflies in a storm - they're there one moment, gone the next. I'm present one moment, and then tripping over some crazy obstacle the next. I can't keep up with stuff.  My mind is all over the place.  And I am aware that I can be frustrating. The air is noisy.  My brain is noisy.  The lights are noisy.  I can't block stuff out like some people can...so everything is getting through at 100%.  

In class, I struggle to keep up with the pace. While others seem to be able to follow along, I often find myself lost in a whirlwind of distractions. It's frustrating, believe me. I want to do well, but it's like there's a constant tug-of-war between what I know I should be doing and what my mind wants to do. There are people whispering, tapping (sometimes I do that too - but it's annoying when other kids do it), chewing gum, breathing.  I know that sounds crazy...but everything has me on edge.  All. The. Time. Then, sometimes you think I'm being bad or causing trouble, but I'm just trying to be funny.  And I know sometimes I use sarcasm, but when you call me out or are sarcastic towards me in front of everyone, it's very insulting and hurtful.  I know you know I'm smart and funny - but don't make fun of me at my expense.  I'm not mature enough for that just yet.

At home, things aren't much easier. My family means well, but they don't always understand what it's like to have ADHD. Homework battles turn into tear-filled nights, as I grapple with assignments that seem insurmountable. It's hard not to feel like I'm letting everyone down, especially when they don't understand why simple tasks can feel so overwhelming. Sometimes, I say things I don't mean to at home...and sometimes I mean them.  I didn't ask to be here.  I didn't ask to be born this way.  My room is a mess, I make my parents late all the time, I forget to do my chores, and when they remind me...they yell.  Then I just shut down.

And then there are the social struggles. Making friends isn't easy when you feel like you're always a step behind. I try to join in conversations and activities, but it's like there's an invisible barrier holding me back. I see the looks exchanged when I blurt out something without thinking, or when I can't seem to sit still for more than a minute. It hurts, knowing that I'm seen as different, even though I'm trying my best to fit in. I know I'm smart.  I also know that smart kids aren't always seen as funny.  So I choose funny - and then everyone things I'm dumb.  I'm not.  And then kids make fun of me...or worse, target me because I'm weird.  I like being weird.  But it's hurtful for others to not like me being weird.  I don't fit in, I don't get invited to parties or sleepovers, and parents nudge their kids away from me because I'm "that" kid. But, I'm good.  Just different. 

Then, I have puberty, sports, social media, clothes, my family's economic status, my parents, my siblings, maybe a job coming up soon, looking at starting to drive, relationships, school dances, chores, other classes, my culture....so many things that are going on.  Please be patient.

So, please, if you notice me struggling, know that it's not because I don't care or because I'm not trying. I'm fighting battles every day that you might not see. And if you do see them, you might not think they are a big deal.  BUT - to ME - they are everything. I'm just a kid.  I need your patience, your understanding, and your support more than ever. A little extra encouragement, a gentle reminder, or even just a listening ear can make all the difference. Please don't lose hope.  And please know I'm trying.  Trying to do a good job and ... ust stay in the game. It's overwhelming and some of my friends have already checked out. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for being the kind of teacher who truly cares about their students. 

Sincerely,

Middle Schooler with ADHD